we_protect_each_other (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
we_protect_each_other) wrote2015-03-02 12:48 am
we_protect_each_other) wrote2015-03-02 12:48 am
First 'Actual' Entry? Mostly some thoughts about anime.
Thank you to the people who added me! I haven't posted since then because I've been somewhere between too lethargic to move and busy. I have been working on a fic exchange, and I always put things off until the last minute. However, I think I'm finished now, thank goodness.
Last weekend, a friend of mine convinced me to watch Puella Magi Madoka Magica with them. I had been putting it off for a long time because, frankly, I haven't been into anime since I was in my mid-teens in anything but a nostalgic way. In high school, I began to participate in the anime club mostly for the social element to it, and I got into Axis Powers Hetalia because at the time it seemed like a neat shorthand to remember certain things about history and because it was very short and therefore very accessible in terms of something to be into. My senior year, I went to an anime convention called Katsucon with the anime club, and it was like my first 'trip' away from home without my parents' supervision, and I just really wanted to go for the sake of it. While there, I briefly became enraptured with this cosplay masquerade skit about a series called Loveless which I read most of (again because it was short) and I was briefly really into that, too, but it kind of died away gradually. But anyway, once upon a time, I was your average teenage anime fan who was obsessed with Japan and so on, but eventually I got enough perspective to realize how weird and fetishizing some of that is. I moved past it, got to where I related more to western superhero narratives, and called it quits.
The only anime I continued to like without intermission (and anytime I think about it I like it again) is/was Digimon Adventure (the first two seasons, but particularly the first). It came along about the time Pokemon and Pokemon cards were the biggest thing in the universe, but my parents were a particular kind of protective where they were just kind of vicariously paranoid through hearsay from other far-more-conservative parents. Therefore, Pokemon was forbidden because thy had heard of some child injuring another child while trying to 'evolve' into a different stage of Pokemon on the playground in some remote part of the world I never heard of again. But Digimon? There was no ban on that. In retrospect, even when I found contraband ways to watch the Pokemon cartoon, I still vastly preferred watching Digimon. It is just more complex, and there's really no arguing with that - as stories, they are intended to accomplish slightly different things. Both were marketing-tool anime, but Pokemon had a very specific purpose and a very specific progression that each iteration of it had to follow. Digimon was a little more fast and loose and as a result it had the opportunity to become what it did. I was never particularly into anything that followed Adventure, as it is called, but it's my understanding that Tamers (I think?) is even like a deconstruction of the genre, which I may be more interested in watching now than I would have been at any other point in my life. But then again, maybe not - maybe I want to leave that bit of innocence alone because goodness knows I examined it and made it darker and darker in my head all on my own.
Speaking of deconstructions (see my wonderful segue there), I just cannot believe Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I am still reeling from it a full week later. I might write more in depth analysis of it later, since it's so short and I can go over it with a fine-toothed comb, but just wow. Long before I understood what anime was as a genre or had very much reading comprehension at all, I remember the first time I read the word "anime" was with reference to Sailor Moon. I had always been a computer-dabbler as a little kid, but I didn't really now how to use the internet. Then, when I started being home-schooled in fourth grade, I would often have just countless hours during which I didn't have to do very much. Then, one day, I had the ridiculous flash of brilliance (though this might have happened somewhat before the home-schooling thing was a finality) that I could search for the names of the things I was interested in. That's how I discovered words like 'anime' and 'fanfiction' and started to become the person I am today. (Mostly, at the time, I was interested in finding the music from the shows.)
But anyway, I was just really into Sailor Moon from the time I can remember being able to follow a sort-of-plot in anything. The dub is ridiculously watered down from what I understand, but when you're six years old, that stuff is intense. Both Sailor Moon and Digimon were ridiculously important to me becoming who I am, even though as I mentioned above I didn't really stay an 'anime fan' as such. But Sailor Moon was from a time in my childhood when I didn't engage things critically as much as I did in third grade and beyond, so it just sort of looks like this divide in my memory. And that's one reason I'm just so astounded by watching a deconstruction of the magical girl genre. It's like I know enough general trivia about the nature of anime as a type of media and about Sailor Moon (and Card Captor Sakura) specifically to feel that this is some organic part of my mind from such a young age. And seeing this deconstruction is kind of heartbreaking but somehow one of the most deeply satisfying experiences I've ever had.
On the one hand, it's kind of sad to have something that just kind of looked cute and sweet crumpled up and burned right before your eyes, but the illumination is astounding. In a way, I wish I'd given this show a chance the first time it was mentioned to me (or that it'd come along even earlier in my life) because I feel like teenage-me would have had a lot to do with this series in terms of processing things about my own life. Now, I'm a little past being a teenager mattering that much, but I am still just so emotionally involved with the ideas that this show brings up. For one thing, I absolutely love how it is so feminine. While male characters exist and factor in, they never come into play as being what the story is about. And I think this is an important thing because I feel, so often, if there is a gender diversity in a story like this that the girls' suffering becomes about the guys' character development no matter how carefully the writers may try to avoid this particular pitfall. PMMM avoids this beautifully by crafting this world where all the power players are female (with the exception of Kyubey who is the only powerful thing identified as male, and I've seen some refer to him/it as genderless, so that's interesting). It is a world shaped by female pain, emotion, power, and sacrifice, and while there is a horror to that, it is still all about them. And I'm just a little obsessed.
As I said, I want to do a more thorough post about it and some about ATLA later on, but I just wanted to get started writing here and this is what's on my mind. It's also really nice to be into an anime again, because I feel sort of prepared with this backlog of information that I had from years ago. Finding that it's still there in the recesses of my brain and that it can be tempered with some maturity (hopefully) in the way I approach enjoying this media, it feels sort of life-affirming. Because I'm so isolated and have no friends and stuff, I sort of feel like an automaton a lot, particularly in the way that it's hard to connect anyone I 'was before' with who I am now. There is no continuity in my life because it's so different and sort of devoid of the things I knew how to DO before I graduated, so this just feels like something good for me that I kind of need.
Last weekend, a friend of mine convinced me to watch Puella Magi Madoka Magica with them. I had been putting it off for a long time because, frankly, I haven't been into anime since I was in my mid-teens in anything but a nostalgic way. In high school, I began to participate in the anime club mostly for the social element to it, and I got into Axis Powers Hetalia because at the time it seemed like a neat shorthand to remember certain things about history and because it was very short and therefore very accessible in terms of something to be into. My senior year, I went to an anime convention called Katsucon with the anime club, and it was like my first 'trip' away from home without my parents' supervision, and I just really wanted to go for the sake of it. While there, I briefly became enraptured with this cosplay masquerade skit about a series called Loveless which I read most of (again because it was short) and I was briefly really into that, too, but it kind of died away gradually. But anyway, once upon a time, I was your average teenage anime fan who was obsessed with Japan and so on, but eventually I got enough perspective to realize how weird and fetishizing some of that is. I moved past it, got to where I related more to western superhero narratives, and called it quits.
The only anime I continued to like without intermission (and anytime I think about it I like it again) is/was Digimon Adventure (the first two seasons, but particularly the first). It came along about the time Pokemon and Pokemon cards were the biggest thing in the universe, but my parents were a particular kind of protective where they were just kind of vicariously paranoid through hearsay from other far-more-conservative parents. Therefore, Pokemon was forbidden because thy had heard of some child injuring another child while trying to 'evolve' into a different stage of Pokemon on the playground in some remote part of the world I never heard of again. But Digimon? There was no ban on that. In retrospect, even when I found contraband ways to watch the Pokemon cartoon, I still vastly preferred watching Digimon. It is just more complex, and there's really no arguing with that - as stories, they are intended to accomplish slightly different things. Both were marketing-tool anime, but Pokemon had a very specific purpose and a very specific progression that each iteration of it had to follow. Digimon was a little more fast and loose and as a result it had the opportunity to become what it did. I was never particularly into anything that followed Adventure, as it is called, but it's my understanding that Tamers (I think?) is even like a deconstruction of the genre, which I may be more interested in watching now than I would have been at any other point in my life. But then again, maybe not - maybe I want to leave that bit of innocence alone because goodness knows I examined it and made it darker and darker in my head all on my own.
Speaking of deconstructions (see my wonderful segue there), I just cannot believe Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I am still reeling from it a full week later. I might write more in depth analysis of it later, since it's so short and I can go over it with a fine-toothed comb, but just wow. Long before I understood what anime was as a genre or had very much reading comprehension at all, I remember the first time I read the word "anime" was with reference to Sailor Moon. I had always been a computer-dabbler as a little kid, but I didn't really now how to use the internet. Then, when I started being home-schooled in fourth grade, I would often have just countless hours during which I didn't have to do very much. Then, one day, I had the ridiculous flash of brilliance (though this might have happened somewhat before the home-schooling thing was a finality) that I could search for the names of the things I was interested in. That's how I discovered words like 'anime' and 'fanfiction' and started to become the person I am today. (Mostly, at the time, I was interested in finding the music from the shows.)
But anyway, I was just really into Sailor Moon from the time I can remember being able to follow a sort-of-plot in anything. The dub is ridiculously watered down from what I understand, but when you're six years old, that stuff is intense. Both Sailor Moon and Digimon were ridiculously important to me becoming who I am, even though as I mentioned above I didn't really stay an 'anime fan' as such. But Sailor Moon was from a time in my childhood when I didn't engage things critically as much as I did in third grade and beyond, so it just sort of looks like this divide in my memory. And that's one reason I'm just so astounded by watching a deconstruction of the magical girl genre. It's like I know enough general trivia about the nature of anime as a type of media and about Sailor Moon (and Card Captor Sakura) specifically to feel that this is some organic part of my mind from such a young age. And seeing this deconstruction is kind of heartbreaking but somehow one of the most deeply satisfying experiences I've ever had.
On the one hand, it's kind of sad to have something that just kind of looked cute and sweet crumpled up and burned right before your eyes, but the illumination is astounding. In a way, I wish I'd given this show a chance the first time it was mentioned to me (or that it'd come along even earlier in my life) because I feel like teenage-me would have had a lot to do with this series in terms of processing things about my own life. Now, I'm a little past being a teenager mattering that much, but I am still just so emotionally involved with the ideas that this show brings up. For one thing, I absolutely love how it is so feminine. While male characters exist and factor in, they never come into play as being what the story is about. And I think this is an important thing because I feel, so often, if there is a gender diversity in a story like this that the girls' suffering becomes about the guys' character development no matter how carefully the writers may try to avoid this particular pitfall. PMMM avoids this beautifully by crafting this world where all the power players are female (with the exception of Kyubey who is the only powerful thing identified as male, and I've seen some refer to him/it as genderless, so that's interesting). It is a world shaped by female pain, emotion, power, and sacrifice, and while there is a horror to that, it is still all about them. And I'm just a little obsessed.
As I said, I want to do a more thorough post about it and some about ATLA later on, but I just wanted to get started writing here and this is what's on my mind. It's also really nice to be into an anime again, because I feel sort of prepared with this backlog of information that I had from years ago. Finding that it's still there in the recesses of my brain and that it can be tempered with some maturity (hopefully) in the way I approach enjoying this media, it feels sort of life-affirming. Because I'm so isolated and have no friends and stuff, I sort of feel like an automaton a lot, particularly in the way that it's hard to connect anyone I 'was before' with who I am now. There is no continuity in my life because it's so different and sort of devoid of the things I knew how to DO before I graduated, so this just feels like something good for me that I kind of need.
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